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Parents and Faithful Instruction

Family Matters: Message 4
Sunday, March 23, 2025
Pastor Jojo Ma

 

Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I.          The “don’t” of Christian parenting
II.        The “do” of Christian parenting
III.       The goal of Christian parenting

So in your search for knowledge and wisdom and help and encouragement, how do you know if the answers you are getting are pleasing to the Lord and biblical?

Are you willing to humbly hear and obediently do what God’s Word teaches?

I.         The “don’t” of Christian parenting
Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger...

Parents are to avoid attitudes, actions, and words that provoke, that push the wrong buttons in our kids, or as the Holman Christian Standard Bible puts it, “Don’t stir up anger in your children.”

Some ways we provoke our children to anger...

A.        Having unrealistic expectations
B.        Comparing them unfairly
C.        Failing to keep promises
D.        Being unjust or inconsistent in discipline

Col 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

II.        The “do” of Christian parenting
Eph 6:4 ...but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

A.        A balance of affirmation and admonition: being tender and tough

Study #1:  Harvard Law School study of 2,500 criminals and delinquents

Study #2:  Harvard sociologists test for non-delinquency in 5 year-olds
--> Father’s firm, fair, and consistent discipline
--> Mother’s care and companionship during the day
--> Loving marriage and genuine affection for the whole family
--> Family time together in meals and activities

Study #3:  Christian psychiatrist Dr. Paul Meier’s test for non-delinquency
--> Firm and consistent discipline
--> Father as the clear head of the home
--> Right and consistent examples of living by the parents
--> Loving marriage and home environment

Our kids need from us both tenderness and toughness, training and correction, affirmation and admonition.

B.         The importance of boundaries
1)         Your kids should know exactly what’s going to happen if they cross a boundary.
2)         Make sure the consequence is fair and appropriate.
3)         You and your wife need to be in agreement about the consequences.

C.         What happens when they cross a clear boundary?
1)         Ensure there has, in fact, been a transgression.
2)         Lovingly confront and clarify.
3)         Give the necessary correction.
Prov 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Prov 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Heb 12:6-11 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

“Any parenting philosophy that does not call children to obey their parents or to submit to their parents is against the Scriptures. Additionally, any that says it is wrong to correct children like our Heavenly Father corrects us (Heb 12:6) is also not in line with Scripture. The methods of how we do this training -- with love, affection, correction, and consequences – can vary to some degree. But the ‘how’ does not negate the ‘what’ --- obedience.”

4)         Don’t forget the gospel.

III.      The goal of Christian parenting
Eph 6:4 ...but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Pastor Mark Dever: “The family is supposed to be our training ground in this loving authority…to learn love, respect, honor, obedience, and trust, in order to prepare us for relating to others and ultimately to God Himself.”

This is the great goal of Christian parenting: to lead our children to know and love and obey the Lord Jesus Christ.

www.thedisciplemakingparent.com