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Husbands and Loving Leadership

Family Matters: Message 1
Sunday, March 2, 2025
Pastor Jojo Ma

 

Message 1: Husbands and Loving Leadership [Eph 5:25-27]
Message 2: Wives and Fearless Submission [Eph 5:22-24]
Message 3: Children and Honorable Obedience [Eph 6:1-3]
Message 4: Parents and Faithful Instruction [Eph 6:4]

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

I. Marriage as a Display of the Gospel
II. Complementarianism: Equal in Value, Different in Role
III. Headship Implies Leadership (and a Greater Responsibility)
IV. 4 Most Important Words
V. 3 Ways a Husband Lovingly Leads

I. Marriage as a Display of the Gospel
John Piper: “Marriage is meant by God to put the reality of the gospel on display in the world. That is why we are married.”

Eph 5:31-32 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

If you are married, how clear, how beautiful, and how accurate is the picture of Jesus (and his love for the church) is your marriage displaying?

II. Complementarianism: Equal in Value, Different in Role
“Marriage ultimately serves as a type of the union between Christ and His church. In God’s wise purposes, men and women are not simply interchangeable, but rather they complement each other in mutually enriching ways. God ordains that they assume distinctive roles which reflect the loving relationship between Christ and the church, the husband exercising headship in a way that displays the caring, sacrificial love of Christ, and the wife submitting to her husband in a way that models the love of the church for her Lord.” [TGC, Confessional Statement, Section 3 “Creation of Humanity]

Rom 8:7-8 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

III. Headship Implies Leadership (and a Greater Responsibility)
23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

With this God-given authority over his wife and family comes tremendous responsibility and accountability. Husbands have a greater responsibility and a different role, not a better role.

1 Cor 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

IV. 4 Most Important Words
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

V. 3 Ways a Husband Lovingly Leads
1. Lead with a sacrificial love
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Pastor Tim Savage: “The call of a husband to (sacrificially) love his wife ought to be so all-consuming that a husband has little time to attend to his wife's submission.”

What you are told are 4 most important words: Husbands, love your wives. Don’t focus on her submission; rather, focus on doing what you can do and should do: loving her.

Very common in our day is one of two extremes: negligent and passive “leadership”, and on the other end, a dominating, “I’m the man!” kind of “leadership”. Both are distortions and abuses of Christ-like leadership.

Mk 10:45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

2. Lead with a sanctifying love
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

We husbands have a primary role in nurturing and encouraging Bible reading and learning in our marriages and homes. So husbands, how are you leading your wife in her spiritual growth and maturity?

3. Lead with a supportive love
28-29 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.

Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Pastor John MacArthur: “To nourish a wife is to provide and care for her needs…to cherish her is to use tender love and physical affection to give her warmth, comfort, protection, and security. Those responsibilities are primarily the husband’s, not the wife’s.”

What are some ways you can demonstrate a supportive love?

  • Can you try to be more attentive to her?

  • Can you learn her interests and her joys? Do you know them?

  • Can you listen to her better, looking her in the eyes and giving her that honor she deserves?

So husbands, you are the head of your home. That’s a great burden and a great responsibility. And God wants you to lead with a sacrificial love, a sanctifying love, and a supportive love.